Perhaps I have too much time on my hands because I tend to do research on things that amuse me. Sometimes they are things that are serious, and other times I like to entertain myself by seeing how weird the world can be. The good part of this exploration is that I can bring to you what makes me laugh hysterically. Of course, my disclaimer is that I am not responsible if you laugh so hard you can't breathe, laugh so hard you have cramps, or laughed so hard you peed. But I digress...
One day a couple of my online friends and I were amusing ourselves by researching funny place names around the world and in the United States. Periodically we go back and wander about the atlases and websites to see what else we can find. I wonder in the history of things, how did these places got their names? Here's some of what we found in the United States (this is not in alphabetical order):
In Arizona there's a place called Monkey's Eyebrow. Perhaps their sister city is Monkey's Butt or Fling Poo? Also, in Arizona there is a place called Why. What happened to the rest of the questions? How come "why" gets a town named after it but the others are left out? I think we should name a town How Much.
In Alaska there is a place called Dead Horse. He must've been shot by Sarah Palin. If you ask me, this is one of the sicker names for a town. I'm a vegetarian. Alaska also has a Nightmute, as opposed to a daymute or a Malamute?
In Alabama there is a place called Shorter. They like animal parts in Alabama: Pig Eye, Boar Tush, and Frog Eye. No eye-of-newt. They also have a place called Smelley. Perhaps, they need a town named Hygiene as well.
Arkansas has Arkadelphia, which is one of those lazy names that combines Arkansas and Philadelphia. They also boast a Pocahontas and a West Memphis. Now, I thought Pennsylvania was on horny state,but let me tell you Arkansas might take the cake in horny place names: Cooter, Dickey Junction, and Point Peter.
In California they have Half Moon Bay. I guess everyone there is half-assed. They also have a place called Shafter.
Oh my, Connecticut has Cheshire. There are no people, just smiles.
Colorado has a place called Hygiene. Perhaps, the people from Smelley, Alabama can come and take a shower here. Also, in Colorado is a place called Last Chance. I'd avoid this town at all costs just by the name alone. Several places, including Colorado, have places called Paradox, which is quite an enigma. Colorado is the most personal state: Jim Town, Kim, Joes, Lulu, and Sams. I have my own town!
Deleware has Hockessin. I feel the phlegm as I say it.
Florida has a place called Briny Breezes. This is where your pickles sunbathe in the nude. Florida has some of the weirder names I've seen....Frostproof, Lorida, Panacea, Spuds, Two Egg, and Yeehaw Junction. Who's bright idea was to name the place Lorida, Florida? That's just ...well....sad. Two Egg? Why two? Why not six or eight? Spuds? I thought potatoes were from Idaho?
Lo! and Behold! Georgia has a place named Enigma, which is a paradox to me. There is a place in Georgia named Experiment...no comment,but I'd be weary of that peach you are eating. Georgia also boasts a Cumming and a Butts. My mind is in gutter again.
Hawaii boasts a Barber's Point. Everyone who enters or leaves Barber's Point must shout "Shave and a haircut. Two bits."
Idaho has a Buhl and a Soda Springs. Everyone gets gassy there.
In Illinois you can never be too tired in Energy. You can never be hungry in Sandwich. You can meet Fritz Lang at Metropolis! There is also an Oblong, which makes me feel kind of square.
In Indiana you can find Buddha and Santa Claus. I hear they are the best of friends. There is a Tell City. Tell me what?
Iowa makes me wonder ....BEEBEETOWN? Did a two year old name this town or were there just a lot of bumble bees? They have a Sac City and from what I hear it's a testicle's paradise! Iowa also boasts a what cheer.
Kansas has a place called Gas. Can you spell relief? F-A-R-T. A whole town that needs a bottle of Tums everyday. They have a place called Protection. I wonder if their sister city is Condom. Kansas also has a place called Skiddy. I'd hate to see their underpants! They also have a Smileyberg. Do you get fined if you frown in Smileyberg?
In Kentucky, they have a place called Oddville. At least they can admit to it! They also have Cut Shin and Shoulderblade....no other body parts were used. They must've read my little ditty on the Kansas town of Gas because they have a place called Relief. Kentucky is the place of licks: Beaver Lick,
Bee Lick, Big Bone Lick State Park,Knob Lick, and Wolf Lick. To make matters a tad odder there is a place called Penile.
Louisiana has Dry Prong. Oh I have to get my mind out of the gutter for that one! They also have Waterproof. Louisiana has a Uneedus. How would they know if we need them? Cranky Corner is where little kids go for timeouts!
Maryland has a place called Boring. They also have a town called Crappo. I wonder if the town is shaped like a chamber pot? Do they go to Skiddy, Kansas after to air out their underpants?
Massachusetts has Indian Orchard. This is where you can grow and pick Indians. They also boast a Belchertown. They also have a town called Malden. Everyone there has a huge nose, but is a great actor.
Michigan has a place called Climax. I am climaxing just thinking about people in Climax. They also have a town called Gay; and a town called Hell. There is an irony in there somewhere.
Minnesota has a place called Mound. I have no idea why this makes me laugh, but Minnesota has a place named Faribault. I guess someone was unhappy with the place they chose to live and decided to name their area Dinkytown.
In Mississippi they possess a town called Petal. Everyone is in bloom here.
Missouri has a place called Arnold. Everyone here speaks in Austrian accents and says "I'll be back" when they leave their houses. They also have a place called O Fallon, and a place called Festus. Is there a Gunsmoke near by too? Missouri boasts a Licking and a Knob Monster. A Licking Knob Monster? No comment. They also boast a Humansville. You might want to question that.
In an answer to Festus, Montana has a place called Dillon. They also have a place called Bigfork. No Little Fork or Spork though!
Nebraska has a place called Magnet. The people are repelling.
Nevada has an Incline Village and a Pahrump...no comment on the second one there.
New Hampshire has Epsom. They are all salty here.
In New Jersey, they boast a Brick. I wonder if they poop bricks too. They have an Egg Harbor Township...are they over easy? Ho-Ho- Kus. No Po-Po-Kus? There is also a Cheesequake. Nothing like a shaking wheel of Gorgonzola.
New Mexico is the only state to have a town named for a game show-Truth or Consequences.
My home state of New York we have tons of weird names, but I am only going to give you a few. We have Cow's Neck. We also have Flushing....this is where you go after Crappo , Maryland and Skiddy, Kansas. Apparently upstate there is a place called Busti. Everyone there, including the men, are double D's. No cow-tipping in Mooers! Coxsackie, well, get your minds out of the gutter!
North Carolina has Cooleemee. They also boast a Blowing Rock. I bet a lot of men go there on a regular basis. North Carolina boasts a place called Cashiers...interesting, just interesting. They also have a place called Supply. However, I didn't see a Demand. They also have a Gastonia, which is a fart's paradise. North Carolina is full of animal lovers: Duck,Frogsboro, Lizard Lick, and Nags Head.
In Nebraska, they have Mott and Hoople. Now I know how Mott the Hoople go their name! They also have a place called Zap.
Ohio has Bucyrus. It's one of those names that if you say it out loud you start laughing. They also have a Loveland. They have a Circleville, where it's not hip to be square. Maumee-I love my Maumee. She's the greatest! Ohio boasts a town called Napoleon. Everyone there is five foot tall and walks around with their hand in their jacket or shirt.
Oklahoma boasts a Anadarko. She is the wife of Donnie Darko. They also have a Valliant. Oklahoma boasts and Okay, which is odd, but cute. I mean, when you address an envelope, it quite possibly can say OK, OK. They also have a Cookietown. I want to go there and indulge in chocolate chips, please!
Sisters is a town in Oregon. No mothers, brothers or fathers. Oregon also has a Coos Bay and a Milton Freewater. Oregon is Boring. No. Really. That's the name of the town. They also have an Aloha. I cannot imagine anyone saying, “I am from Idiotville,” but right there in front of me is the town name.
Pennsylvania boasts sexual dysfunction in Blue Ball. They also have a place called Bird-In-Hand and Intercourse. They also have a place called North East and Beaver. Pennsylvania seems to be very sexual.
While Rhode Island is our smallest state, we sadly did not find any weird place names.
South Carolinians love to be pinched in the arse at Goose Creek. In Simpsonville everyone yells DOH! They have a place called Lugoff. South Carolina, what made you think to name a place Sugar Tit?
South Dakota has Eagle Butte and Winner. No losers in Winner.
There is an Alamo in Tennessee. They also have a Signal Mountain. Just who or what are they signaling? Tennessee also boasts a Soddy Daisy. Did someone get really drunk and name the place of Blue Goose Bucksnort. In Difficult, everyone is constipated. In Nameless, you are only identified by a number.
In Texas they have a place called Alief. They also have a Flower Mound. Texas boasts a Pflugerville. I'm not quite sure how that is pronounced, but it amuses me. They also have a Pharr. They also boast a Schertz. That doesn't quite sound Texan. Texas also has a Dripping Springs. They have a Muleshoe-I guess that would be something in an Oxford! They also have a place called Nacogdoches... "I'm feeling Nacogdoches. I feel I might puke." Here's some places that are just a little more Texan: Gun Barrel City and Cut and Shoot.
Utah has American Fork... as opposed to Canadian Fork? Oh excuse me there is a Spanish Fork in Utah. There is also a Mexican Hat. Why not just call it Sombrero? For a place that's quite inland and not close to the ocean at all, they have a place called Hurricane.
Vermont has a Notown. It's just nameless, I guess.
Virginia possesses a Front Royal. I didn't see a Back or Side Royal, or a Royal Flush. They have a Galax. I am praying this is a typo and they meant to add a 'y' at the end. After all we don't live in the Milky Way Galax. Spell checker is not amused with this at all! They also boast a Triangle and a Troutville and a Dumfries. My fries are not dumb! Everyone ribbits in Kermit. That sounded so wrong.
Washington has Freeland. They also have a Gig Harbor. Washington has a Puyallop. Just say it out loud. Of course they have the famous Walla Walla, but there is no Bing Bang. Tears fall at Onion Creek.
In West Virginia, there is a Nitro. They watched too much of the old American Gladiators. West Virginia has some of the rudest names ever. For example, there is a Big Ugly. Instead of naming one town Manowar they have two separate towns of Man and War. O feels left out.
Wisconsin has Baraboo. They also have Beaver Dam, a Ladysmith, and a Little Chute. Sorry-- yeah my mind is in the gutter again. Wisconsin has a Spooner as well. Wisconsin boasts a Chili where people make that Little Chute just a tad wider. I was surprised to see that there were no cities or towns having to do with cheese.
Lastly we come to Wyoming. Wyoming has a Thermopolis. Wyoming also is a state of holes. Okay, that sounded wrong, but they do boast a Big Hole and a Jackson Hole as well as a Scott's Bottom.
The picture at the top of the page was taken from: http://www.bikramyoga.com/bikramYogaUsaMap.php
updated May 19, 2015