Accountant: I am mathematically challenged. We can go to jail together!
C+ Programmer: I don't want a C+! I want an A+! Need I say more?
Car Insurance Salesman: I am not a gecko. Next.
Construction Inspector: It was the foreman in the sewer with screwdriver!
Dentist: The one doctor I dread going to the most. I just would love to scrape your teeth. The sound alone makes me grind my teeth, but please let me scrape yours. Even better than that, you have a cavity! Nothing like pieces of metal poking around. “This won't hurt a bit,” the dentist says while you are screaming in pain. I think this job is not for me!
Dental Sales Representative-: So, I'd be selling teeth?
Diabetes Sales Specialist: What a title! Who the heck wants to sell diabetes?
Field Interviewer :Why would I want to interview a field?
Me: And do you feel you are being watered enough?
The former Meadowlands: Well, no. I could use a little more watering, and less stomping on. I get very little respect.
Financial Analyst: Right up there with accountant. Hire me and the stock market will hit zero!
Gastroenterologist: I am the source of farts. I have the stomach pains and will tell you ways to manage your pain. I am a little turd, but I cannot tell you what you have by sticking something up your butt or down your throat-and my gosh that sounds worse than what I meant!
Java Manager: In reading the description of this job, I was sad to find this had nothing to do with organizing coffee. Instead, it had to do with computers. I have very little knowledge of Java programming. It would sort of be like accounting, without the jail bit.
Occupational Therapist: I haven't quite figured out what an occupational therapist does. Just what does an occupational therapist occupy? Does this have something to do with Occupy Wall Street?
Patient Account Representative: Yes, I can account for this patient.
Phlebotomist: One of two things would happen: either I would faint at the site of all that blood or I would chase unsuspecting victims with needles saying “I vant to suck your blood!”
Plumbing/Heating Technician: Sorry, but I don't have a long enough butt crack for this job.
Proctologist: I am better versed in being the pain-in-the-ass, rather than removing the pain-in-the-ass.
Risk Analyst : Is this risky? Yes.