So, the title of my post mentions "other pains in the butt." Here we go:
When you feel that booger hanging and don't have a tissue on hand....
When you want/need to get some sleep and your bladder decides it wants to party...
When you've misplaced your keys and wallet, and have gone all over the house looking for them, only to find they were right in front of you the whole time...
When you tune in to the oldies station and you hear a song from when you were 5...
When twenty 30 second commercials about life insurance and funeral costs come on before you want to go to sleep; OR the PSA announcements that talk about people dying from smoking come on before bed; OR that one refinancing commercial that mentions that you need a debt report 50 times; OR the commercial with that annoying lady trying to sell you something that you will never use...
When the Emergency Broadcast thingo comes on. It doesn't matter if it's a few annoying buzzers or one giant "boooooooooop" it gives me a migraine! Couldn't you play the theme from "Emergency" instead?
That one person who always calls you when you are on the toilet...
The garbage men screaming and yelling down the block as they pick up your neighbors' garbage; and when they get to your driveway must pull that lever that makes hideous sounds --- and you jump nine feet in the air...
When you have a stuck belch or fart; OR when you have have stuck belch or fart and start making faces and doing dances to get the blasted things out!
When, completely by accident, you put the Cheerios in the refrigerator and then go looking for them like they are a lost relative. That's a major pain in the rump!
When someone says "Don't look!" and of course you do...
When you fart and it sounds like a gunshot and everyone ducks but you...
You have a hemorrhoid and become a pain in your own arse...
When you listen to some political debates...
When you think you hear a fire engine in the distance, roll down the window, don't hear anything, roll up the window , hear the fire engine again, roll down the window...nope no fire engine, roll the window up and realize it's your car's air conditioner.
When your computer develops a mind of its own (enter Twilight Zone theme here)...
When you have a breakout, and no matter what you put on your zits they don't go away (enter Twilight Zone theme here)...
Not quite what you expected, but I pray you've gotten a little chuckle.